----

Waaah. Sembreak's over. Well not really over, I still have one day. But wah.:-( I don't want to go to school just yet.. I'm quite scared of the outcome of the exams. Yes. I. Am. Scared. I have the history of my grades getting lower during the second quarter. Last year, Biology. This year, Chemistry. Don't get me wrong, I love Sciences, and I grew to love Biology last year. But Chemistry? Eeech. Before the start of this school year, I admit, I was quite excited to study Chemistry, thinking that we'll be dealing with chemicals and stuff, you know, the stereotypical laboratory chemistry we often see in TV..but no. I was crushed. The subject was death itself. Owkay, that was full of exaggeration, but whatever, that is how I happen to see the subject. Well, maybe the problem's with me, or with our teacher. You could say that our teacher is the terror teacher type..well, don't get me wrong, she can be nice at times, but most of the time, she's being very strict. strict and scary. Those type of teachers really take out my enthusiasm in the subject. I mean, the subjects hard, we don't need someone to make it harder, right? Haaay buhay. I'm hoping for the best... I don't want to disappoint people.

So yan, we now come to our next topic. MY MOTHER. Haaay. I don't really know. She's been gone for 3 days because they had a seminar in Holiday Inn, Clark, Pampanga. I've been a really good girl, even offered to type her reports because I knew she doesn't like working with computers *and i can say that the computer doesn't like her that much either*. She arrived today, with chocolates as my pasalubong . I thought everything was going well between the two of us. We haven't fought since our "talk". Well obviously, I was wrong. I tried to borrow something from her earlier, then she started shouting and accusing me of stuff. I don't know. I'm quite sure I was polite when I asked her.. Haay. It's very hard to explain. I won't say that I'm not affected, because I am. I wanted to scream at her, cry, and rebel.. hay i dont know. I mean, if you're me, and your mother is acting really mean towards you for some reason, you'd feel the same way too. I just don't understand why she's being like that because I'm trying to do everything just so I could please her. She's one of the reasons why I have scars on my wrist..how sad.

When I was younger, I was a great dreamer. I dreamed of being very sucessful in every aspect possible. Eh Ganun eh. I wanted to be everything. My dreams ranged from being an astronaut, to me finding the man of my dreams, and having a great family. I really don't know what got to me that I started dreaming like that. Oh well. My father was with me all the way.. and I think he was the one who pushed me through everything. Last November 1, All Saints Day, we visited my father's grave. I was so happy because I didn't visit him on his birthday due to Mother. So yun, we arrived there, and the place reeked. Honestly. My mother didn't want to clean it earlier, so yes, I thought I'd have an asthma attack when I entered the place. So being the good girl that I am..*haha. shut it.* I started cleaning, then she was telling me to stop whatever I was doing because I'm not really helping. Ouch. I wanted to cry. How dare she hurt me in front of my father's grave? Konting respeto naman.. Hay. I kept a straight face and just prayed. I know God is good and everything would be okay.

--
Sooo..that's my post for this past week.:-P Im too lazy to blog eh. Btw, if you haven't noticed, I changed my layout.:-) This layout works best if viewed in Mozilla.:-P hehe. tut.tut.
--
Haay. im so dramatic, but this is MY blog and I can rant whenever I want. Haay. I feel so down.:-| Oh well, I'm sure I can find something to amuse myself with, and I am quite certain that Dan & my friends would cheer me up.:-) Haha. I really am the Pessimistic Optimist..what can I say?:-)

---

---